An Open Letter to Every Woman
My Dearest Sister,
I apologize. Whether I know you or not. Whether we’ve connected or not. Whether I’ve hurt you directly or not. I know you regardless. I’ve hurt you regardless. And lately, I’ve been examining my thoughts, my life, my actions and I realize how destructive I’ve been to you. I see how it started with my blood sister - how we were constantly compared. How she was prized for the shape of her body and I, for my intellect. How it set something in motion that would lead to competition and comparisons between myself and all other women for a good chunk of my life. How we unwittingly fell victim to a system that benefits profoundly from women who compete instead of complement and compliment each other. How we were raised to believe that we can’t or shouldn’t trust other women. How, resultingly, I became untrustworthy towards many of y’all - in thought and/or deed - to fulfill that fallacy as truth. How I attracted other of us who were also untrustworthy to confirm our beliefs. How we’ve believed the stories about ourselves that simply aren’t true. The stories of us being reduced to nothing more than evil, prostitutes, catty bitches, and witches… from the books of the bible, to those told about The Squad holding shit down in DC right now. None of that shit was ever true. It was only intended to break our bonds. To break our spirits. To placate us into a place of fear where we couldn’t trust or love each other anymore, less we be seen as ‘one of those.’ Well guess what - I AM ONE OF THOSE. I am Lilith. I am Eve. I am Jezebel. I am Delilah. I am Mary Magdelene. I am Alexandria. I am Ayanna. I am Ilhan. I am Rashida. I am every single woman who has ever been labeled a bitch or a tramp or a prostitute or untrustworthy or evil by a society that profits from women who submit to force, not power. And I am sorry that I believed the worst about us. I am sorry that I chose to look past your beauty. I am sorry that I considered you too much. I am sorry that I believed you weren’t enough. That you weren’t worthy. I am sorry for the pedestals that I placed you upon and for those I kicked you off. I am sorry for judging you for being who you are. I am sorry for judging you for not being me. I am sorry for all the ways I’ve hurt you and trampled upon the foundation of sisterhood that we share. I am sorry that I chose to compete with you for men, for jobs, for glory, for all the bullshit that is just bullshit. I don’t give a fuck who has the “best” house, or kids, or car, or dish, or life. I want all of us to live our best muthafuckin lives. I want all of us to have the best for us. Whatever that looks like on an individual scale. I want all of us to come into our power and shift the fuck out of a society that is afraid of us doing just that. And so to you, my dearest sister, I want you to know that I love you. I see you. I am you. When I say all of this to you, I speak it to myself. We are the women we’ve been waiting for. We’ve got work to do. Inside. Outside. It starts right here. Right now.
Your Sister in Abundance & Love,